Preparing the sibling for the baby

Your little family is expanding and you are welcoming another little one into your midst? An exciting time is beginning, not just for you and your partner, but also for your firstborn. The joy of another pregnancy is often mixed with questions like "When should I tell my child that it's getting a sibling?" or "What can I do to avoid jealousy?" We have put together the best way to announce the pregnancy to your child and lovingly include them in this blog article.

When is the best time to tell your firstborn that he or she is going to be a big sister or big brother?

“You're getting a sibling!” There are several factors that play a role in choosing the best time to say this. How old your child is is a crucial factor in the announcement. Very young children are usually told later in the pregnancy. It can be very difficult to explain to a two-year-old in a child-friendly way that there is a baby growing in mom's belly when nothing can be seen “from the outside” yet.

Older children should be included earlier, at least at the same time as other relatives and friends, so that they can hear about the sibling directly from you as their parents.

You should think about whether you want to confide in your future sibling before the 12-week mark. It can also quickly happen that your kindergarten child is so happy that he or she tells everyone about the new baby, even though you have asked him or her to keep the sweet little secret. Go with your gut feeling and decide what feels right for you and your family!

What is the best way to announce your pregnancy to your child?

Regardless of the many sweet ideas you can use to surprise your firstborn with the announcement, you should choose a positive formulation. Say " We 're having a baby" deliberately to include your child from the very beginning. As mentioned above, it also depends on the child's age how you tell him or her that there is a baby growing in mom's belly. It can therefore be a good idea to create a child-friendly understanding of the body for your firstborn, for example by looking at children's books together, discovering puzzles or coloring books on the subject of the body. This way you ensure that the processes in mom's body and the growing belly remain far less abstract.

How can you support your child during pregnancy?

Before the birth, there are many ways to include the first child in the pregnancy and thus sensitize them to life with siblings before the birth. Let your child participate actively by familiarizing them with the growing baby bump. They can listen to your belly to see if they can hear their sibling, feel the odd kick later, or talk to them while gently stroking your belly.

Being allowed to go to the gynecologist as a sibling can also be a great opportunity to get to know your new sister or brother. It is an exciting experience that can make the arrival of the sibling more approachable.

Some midwives, birthing centers and hospitals also offer sibling courses. In these, future siblings can learn a lot about how to deal with the baby, ask questions and get to know the new arrival in the family using lifelike baby dolls.

Books are a great way to approach the topic of babies together. Read a sibling book every now and then to prepare your child for the new situation in a playful way. It can also help to get to know other babies before the birth, for example from relatives or friends. You can also consciously involve your firstborn in decision-making processes such as finding the right name or decorating the baby's room. Try to involve your child in the pregnancy in an understanding way.

And how do I properly integrate my child after the birth of a sibling?

After the birth, in addition to providing for the baby's needs, it is important to look after your first-born child lovingly. Incorporating the child into the new (baby) routine is a good way to do justice to everyone. For example, involve the older sibling in baby care and don't be afraid that they will be too rough with the younger one. Explain patiently to the sibling that they should be gentle with the baby and you will be amazed at how tenderly your little rascal is with his or her brother or sister.

Some parents also give the new sibling something in the baby's name. This can be a great way to create a positive association with the new arrival and ensures that the firstborn does not feel disadvantaged by all the baby gifts. Such a gift can also be a good "breastfeeding distraction".
Make sure you spend enough quality time with your older child and that your partner, grandparents, etc. also spend some time exclusively with your older child.

The magic word is and remains to stay calm and patient and to take your time. Everyone has to get used to the new situation. If jealousy does arise, try to put yourself in your child's shoes and don't blame yourself. Jealousy is completely normal and as long as you deal with it well, you will see how quickly you grow together as a family.

Our book recommendations for future siblings: